Some thoughts on reading the book, Dignity, in our Conscious Conflict class...
I agree with the notion that “[t]reating people badly because they have done something wrong only perpetuates the cycle of indignity” and “[o]ther’s bad behaviors doesn’t give us license to treat them badly in return.” (Hicks, p. 5)
Hicks states that “we are hardwired to feel what others are feeling without having to say a word.” (Hicks, p. 6) I must admit that this sentence got my hackles up. Is that a statement we can make universally? In my experience, those who are lower on the arbitrary “ranking of human worth” scale often find their lives depend on being hyper aware of and responsive to the emotions of those in the “higher” ranks. Those in power, however, are often oblivious to the feelings of those “below” them. Can we truly believe that all police officers have retained this “hardwiring” to empathize with the Black man they just pulled over for having an air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror? What about those with neurodivergence? Isn't it ableist to assume that everyone can read and understand social and emotional cues? When we are enmeshed within systems of oppression, can there ever be the safe space and removal from harm needed to begin these 10 steps?
While I aim to offer Hicks the very assumption of positive intent that is part of her 10 Essential Elements of Dignity (what she calls Benefit of the Doubt), right now there is a huge gap for me between a statement such as, “Give others the freedom to express their authentic selves without fear of being negatively judged,” and a clear path to the essential, yet subtle, understandings needed todo this work successfully. What is someone’s authentic self? In systems of oppression, this can become a pathway for those in power to reinforce the domination and becomes another attempt to lay the responsibility of repair at the feet of the most vulnerable and marginalized.
I will be interested to see how Hick’s method deals with this. How does this 10 step process work in Tigray? Or for the Uyghurs? I can see how acceptance of identity, inclusion, recognition etc. could have prevented someone from, for example, feeling the need to identify as an incel. And it is clear how a woman can have compassion for how misogyny leaves all genders damaged, but how do we culturally get to a place where it would be safe enough to her to offer an incel inclusion? How does this process work when there is lack of self-awareness and no accountability?
I have my own strong ideas about this, but have been struggling to articulate them. Ironically, my attempts to flesh out a clear way to communicate the distinctions has led to quite a bit of conflict within my communities who see the work Hicks suggests exclusively through the lens of domination system's use.
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